I've also been told I have little tact, so if this offends you simply ride on.

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Those Crazy Gods of the Tour de France are at it again!

For years the Tour de France seemed to be peddling along just fine, except for those little things called doping scandals which circled around it like flies do shit.  I think because the Gods of the Tour, for the most part, had grown a little weary of the event.  To them doping was just stupidity on wheels, and maybe they thought it was 'one of those mortal things' and was really none of their business; the race was still rolling after all.  But then, sometime around the Floyd Landis bit, they seemed to begin to wake up.  Teams started cleaning up and perhaps the Gods realized that those mortal cyclists actually ride better when they're not all doped up.  Look what they did to Lance Armstrong, flicked him away like a bugger from their finger.  And today, on the 1st stage of the 100th Tour de France, those crazy Gods decided to have a little fun.  I mean, everything started off okay and the first two Acts went swell.  Then Act 3 arrive on a bus.

Is there a finger in that sign, somewhere?

Had I been that bus driver, I would have jumped out and looked up at the sign I'd hit and shouted "Holy Shit!"  Not this driver, he sat there and covered his face with his hands.  Oops.  Then they changed the finish line to the 3 kilometer mark which would have worked except this stage was to have a sprint ending.  Just past the 3 kilometer mark the road bends to the right.  Sherwin said it best,   "they can't end it there, there's a bend in the road, there's a bend in the road."  You do know, sprinters don't stop at the finish line, they're going fast so they tend to hit their brakes until after they've passed it, about where the road bends.  But then the bus was moved and the finish line returned to where it had once been.  But then one of the Gods stuck his finger down into the Peleton and gave it a little swirl and there was a crash and another one stuck a finger in Greipel's gears.  Couldn't you hear them laughing?  I could.  They said "we're going to make this the most interesting race ever!"  Of course, Cavendish wants to blame the crash on those mortal officials, he doesn't understand that those crazy Gods of the Tour de France are at it again.  They are alive and well, and, I think fully awake.

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