I've also been told I have little tact, so if this offends you simply ride on.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Tattoo who?

A few words about tats.  I see a lot of them now-a-days and one of the first things I do is look from the Tat to the person sporting it for the world to see.  Should they have gotten it?  Sure, in some people's minds the body is a canvas on which to paint, but not all canvases are created equal.  If you're a male who's 5'10" and weighs 210 lbs don't get a tat you will need to show off.  Your canvas may be broad but it is not something one might really want to look at.  Please take this into consideration.  Let's say your wife or girlfriend or female person you hang out with has just had a baby and you're so overwhelmed you have the baby's face tattooed on your arm.  And let's say you're more then a smidgen over weight.  And let's say you suddenly loose fifty pounds.  That cute little bundle on your arm suddenly looks like Grandma Moses.  Or say the opposite happens and all that beer you've been drinking catches up with you.  Oh, shit, you suddenly have an unrecognizable melon head on your arm.

I'd advise against getting a Tat if you're over a certain age.  In spite of what you might think it is not going to make you look cool to a crowd twenty years younger then you.  They may compliment you on it, but it's not going to make you fit in any more then you already do.  If you chose to get a Tat make sure it is age appropriate.

Remember, as you age your body is going to change and as it changes so does your skin.  The Tat you get today is definitely not going to look the same twenty years from now.  If you go to the gym, you will need to go to the gym.  If you're a guy and you stop those firm pecs of yours are going to turn into saggy man boobs.  Think of this before you have some sort of massive breast plate inked onto your chest.  The same thing is true for girls.  I once worked with an eighteen year old girl who was a little on the chubby side.  She got herself a tramp stamp...a really big, tramp stamp.  Two months later she was 5 pounds heavier (she ate a lot of donuts) so uncouth me told her she needed to watch her diet other wise "ten years from now that stamp's going to be hanging down over your ass."  She was not at all appreciative.

Captured in mid-fall

Another thing, don't say you're going to get a Tat to show your individuality.  A couple of million guys said that and then went out and got Tribal Tats just so they could all look alike.  Talk about originality.

If you're a rock start you can get as many Tats as you want because you can afford it.  If you're not a rock start you're going to stand out in the crowd.

If you need to get inked, my recommendation is to practice discretion.  Think about how your body is going to look twenty or thirty years from now.  Remember, pretty colors fade and dark indigo remains and touching up can get expensive.  Most important, this is a trendy thing which is happening and unlike trendy hair styles (mullet or Mohawk?) which grow back, a Tat is going to stick around for a long, long time.  Getting them removed is very, very expensive.

Discretion is my motto

Friday, October 19, 2012

Karma, meet Lance, Lance, meet Karma

So, I guess Monday is the day when Lance officially finds out if he's being stripped of his seven Tour de France titles.  Personally, I think it's pretty much a foregone conclusion, so does he, I suspect.  Is his view on reality going to change much?  I don't think so.  Do a simple search and you'll find all of his number one fans are in the same boat.  They are creating a mild roar with inanities such as "everybody else was doing it."  But everybody else didn't pose themselves off as a cancer survivor who became an honest to God superior athlete.  Everybody else didn't rake in millions through endorsements or date rock stars.  Sure, he started Livestrong, but even while his foundation was doing good, Armstrong was still cheating to win.

When I was young I was taught lots of rules on behavior, rules I remember and live by today.  One of those is "Cheaters never win and winners never cheat."  Armstrong cheated and thought he had won, now he's going to find out he didn't.  That's really bad Karma, and it's really going to bite him in his ass.    Perhaps he thought the good of Livestrong would balance out his appalling behavior.  Or perhaps another sad reality is that the foundation was just another way to feed his ego.  Now he's no longer on the board and they are going to have the unpleasant task dealing with what, ten, twelve, thirteen years of his lies.  And don't think it isn't going to be unpleasant.  He has tainted that organization.  Bad, bad Karma.

You do know what Karma is, don't you?  What goes around comes around.  I began to suspect this day would arrive when he came out of retirement to form Team Radioshack.  While all the Lanclings were cheering rah, rah, rah and I was scratching my head wondering why Hincapie wasn't on the team.  They'd seemed to have been buds for years.  Then, during the Tour, Armstrong led an attack which kept  Hincapie from winning the stage.  Even Paul Sherwin was wondering about Armstrong's actions.  Armstrong went on to blame Garmin.  Hincapie didn't see it that way.   While being interviewed he let loose his outrage at Armstrong.  When I heard that I knew the shit was just starting to hit the fan.  The way I understand it, George was one of the twenty-six who gave eyewitness testimony about Armstrong and doping.  What went around once is coming back around again with Lance Armstrong in it's sights.  That man has really bad, bad Karma.