I've also been told I have little tact, so if this offends you simply ride on.

Saturday, September 30, 2017

When Friday isn't Friday

Well, here it is... Saturday, and as I do on almost every Saturday, I'm going to work.  I say this for the benefit of all of those people who do get to work a 5 day work week, and for whom Friday is the last day of that week.  I have friends on Facebook who, every Friday, post these cute little dancing gifs proclaiming how great Friday is... for them.  So, recently, I began reminding them that there are vast numbers of people who work on weekends.  I let them know that if we all had a work week that ended on Friday the world would, for the most part shut down for them.  There would be no movies, or restaurants open, you couldn't go to the supermarket,  or stop by your 7-11 or get gas.  There would be no Emergency Rooms for people to go to were they to get sick.  No police, so don't get robbed, or have an accident.  Imagine Disney World closed on Saturday and Sunday, and Six Flags - no amusements parks because their employees had a work week that ends on a Friday.  Think of everything that would be closed.  Just start ticking things off in your head, the things you can't do because no one is going to be working.  And the number of cute, little gifs has started to decline because my friends have started to realize that without us weekend workers, their own personal lives would pretty much shut down.  A lot of people don't think about things like that.

Friday, September 29, 2017

Chicks on line

Well, I get to go back to work today.  I'm not so excited, if you know what I mean.  Over the past 2 days I did get pretty much accomplished: draperies in the dining room dry cleaned, replaced some trip, painted the molding around all of the windows in the dining room, cleaned.  Not too much on the workout scene, however - it's this damn hernia.  I can not wait until I get it fixed.  My current recurring nightmare is that because I'm going through the VA they're going to tell me it's going to take at least 6 months.  If they do, I'll go through a civilian doctor and have it done sooner.
And I see that the Idiot Jerk in the White House has released his TAX PLAN.  There was actually some sort of pompous GOP ceremony where they all gathered together like giggling school girls looking at a Playgirl for the first time.  Of course they did the same thing with their every attempt to repeal the ACA, well, maybe not so much with their last try.  This is the DO NOTHING PARTY, remember?  My money says that behind the scenes they're already scrambling for votes because this is nothing more than a give away to corporations and the wealthy.  I saw a news feed on Facebook where one of the Republican sponsors for this piece of shit admitted "well, the middle class may have to pay more, but they'll get more back in the end."  That's bullshit. 
And, speaking of Playgirl, I did a search to see if there still was such a thing.  There is.  And it does have a gay section called Playgirl Blue.  This doesn't surprise me since I always thought it was the guys buyng the magazine that kept it in business.

Remember when?
This got me wondering, just a little, if Playboy has a lesbian section, and if they do, is it called Playboy Pink and so, even though it's against my religion, I checked.  They don't.  It's just chicks on line.  That sounds funny, doesn't it?  Chicks on line.

Thursday, September 28, 2017

Take me Home

So,  I was off yesterday.  It was nice.  I didn't have to go anywhere or do anything, though I did.  There was a lot of relaxation going on.
Today I'm off as well, only I have to do stuff today.  But yesterday?  Nah. 
I did go see "Kingsmen, The Golden Circle."  What a hoot!  Julianne Moore as a drug dealing villain named Poppy, Channing Tatum in blue boxers, Taron Egerton asking "do I look like a dick," and Elton John (that's right, Sir Elton John) saying "get the fuck out of my room... get the fuck out of my room," are just a few of the bright spots in this film.  There's a lot of graphic novel action, but then that makes sense since the series is based on a graphic novel.  There were moments when I laughed out loud.  That's right, there's a lot of humor in it.  Let's see, there's Halle Berry, and Beau Bridges, and Colin Firth, and Mark Strong, who usually plays heavies, singing John Denver.

"West Virginia, blue ridge mountains....."
Of course, the political humor is rollicking as well, in which the minority party has finally realized that an even smaller minority group of haters really wants to put their establishment gonads in a vice and crank it as tight as possible.  That's right, Mitch McTurtle is getting his nuts squeezed, in fact, this minority group that he, himself, encouraged, wants to rip them right out of his scrotum.  And this even smaller minority party seems to have little, if no interest, in putting forth any kind of sane legislation, all they want to do is spit out their insane hatred.  They don't even realize they are drowning in their own venom, but then why would they?  They were bred for their bitterness, spoon fed their anger, by a higher power for the soul purpose of devouring the Republican Party.  This is their Karma.
And, as far as I'm concerned, the only thing that would have made "Kingsmen, Golden Circle" more enjoyable, would have been to have Mark Strong sing his John Denver tribute naked:  Country Roads, take me home.

Tuesday, September 26, 2017


So, there's an election in Alabama today.  The Idiot Jerk in the White House wants some loser named Strange to win... he's probably going to lose.  That' super duper, ultra crazy conservative Christian Roy Moore is probably going to win.  And that is funny.  Why?  Because for years the GOP has kissed the asses of these crazies because if it was bad for the Democrats than it had to be good for the Republicans.  Haha.  Now, they're going to end up with a Senator who will only vote for legislation that's as crazy as he is.  Those Southern Baptists in Alabama are going to vote for a dead end, which is fine with me.  Let the loser win so they can isolate themselves even more from the greater American public, at least that's what I say.  Shit, the GOP can't even get enough votes to repeal the Affordable Care Act, how in hell would they give him what he wants and put the 10 Commandments in every classroom, and every courtroom, and in front of every Government building.  That's right.  Let that sucker win.  I know where they can get a broken shovel to help them dig their graves!

Monday, September 25, 2017

Dig This

So, yesterday I go down to the Service Desk to check on returns and I see this, a shovel in a cart.  A shovel that some moron returned.

Look closely.  You'll see that it's broken into 2 pieces.  If you look very closely you'll see that this shovel has been heavily used, and... some scumbag customer returned it to our store.  They did have a receipt, mind you, from a shovel which had been purchased 2 days ago.  I suspect that might be when this shovel was broken.  Anyway, yesterday this scumbag, using that receipt, returned the broken shovel.  And some dumbshit at our Service Desk processed the return.  Oh, and in case you are wondering, this scumbag customer didn't do an 'even exchange' they wanted their money back.  The fact that there are people who are reprehensibly dishonest bothers me, but that fact that some nimrod at the Service Desk didn't just out and out refuse... well, let's be honest, that person should not be working for us.  That clerk gave someone a free shovel.
Since I'm no longer in a position of authority, all I can do is piss and moan here.  Were I able to, the clerk who did this would be documented for their sheer stupidity.  People don't seem to understand that when you do returns like this you set a very bad precedent.

Sunday, September 24, 2017

The Uninvited

So here it is, Sunday, my 4th day out of the 6 I will work until I get my next 2 days off.  Yesterday I hit my sales goal and my measure goal so today everything else I get is gravy.
I've been spending more and more time on my old bike which is mounted on the Kinetic trainer I bought.  The trainer uses Bluetooth and works well with my  S8, not so well with my tablet, which is what I want to use so I've been in contact with Kinetic.  They seem to think there might be issues with the resistance unit.  If they send me a new one, that will be fine.
I am ready for fall to kick in.  Tomorrow we might break a heat record for 9/25 and I still have the  Central Air turned on.  While I don't mind summer, I want the seasons to change.  I want the leaves on the trees to turn yellow and orange and crispy, crackling under your feet when you walk on them.  If I wanted year round heat, I'd move to hurricane or earthquake land.
And what about the Idiot Jerk's tirades about professional athletes who don't want to kiss his racist ass?  Freedom of speech.  But then you know he never has been to crackerjack smart about the Constitution, or what that treasured document allows.  What a hoot that he disinvited Steve Curry to visit the White House.  What an even bigger hoot that the Golden State Warriors then told him to basically to eat shit.  They have become.... The Uninvited.

Evidently the North Carolina Tar Heels aren't going either... they put out some sort of gibberish about 'not being able coordinate dates.'  This, of course, doesn't mean that they have been Uninvited, just that they've chosen to put some distance between themselves and the Idiot Jerk, which pretty much takes away his ability to Uninvite them.  And LeBron James said that "going to the White House used to be an honor," until the Idiot Jerk showed up.
All of this must be ripping the Idiot Jerk a new asshole because his Ego requires he surround himself with fawning sycophants and Sports Stars, and when those athletes spurn him... well, that's how you get Uninvited.  And life grand!

Saturday, September 23, 2017

A little about me

Here's a little about me for those who might be interested.
I'm going to be 65 on November 8 and I am pretty much a Scorpio.
Forty Seven years ago, when it was vastly unpopular, I volunteered.  I joined the Navy, and went to Vietnam... well, the Tonkin Gulf to be more precise.  The countryside was quite clear from the flight deck (I was on an aircraft carrier).  Because of that, I get decent VA medical insurance, being in a war zone, you know?  The only ones who get better insurance are those who retired after 20 years and those who were disabled.  Not bad, eh?
In face, it turns out I've volunteered for a lot of things, doing my Civic duty, you know?  For about 12 years I was a trainer for the Red Cross:  CPR, Basic Life Support.  It was fun.
I also volunteered for what was called "the gay switchboard," which turned out to be very, very boring.  Not a lot of calls back then, mostly from business men in town for a meeting who wanted to know where the bars were.
The Central PA Pride Festival?  I was part of it.  Starting off as a working, I did PR for a couple of years and finally co-chairing the thing with a woman named Tina.  This is me in 1998 wearing my cute little Pride T-Shirt.

I had a lot of fun... but it also cured me forever of my volunteerism.
A lot of people will volunteer just to say they're part of an organization, which means their reliability is questionable.  Four of us carried the weight on our shoulders, did the grunt work, on a regular basis because of 'no-shows.'  Three weeks after the festival my friend Matt resigned, and two weeks later I handed in my resignation as well.  And I haven't looked back.  They were good years, and for the most part, a lot of fun, but the time had come to step back.
While I've been in a few relationships, none were momentous enough to create moments of nostalgia when I think back.  I am much better by myself than I am trying to fit my life around someone else's.  Blame it on the Scorpio thing.
And since I got the dogs I can honestly say I am happier now than I have ever been.  We are all different.  We are all the same.  And I... am me.

Friday, September 22, 2017

Stopping Traffic

My legs hurt like hell.  It's that damn trainer working too well.  I was working my vastus intermedius really hard... well, for about 6 minutes at least.  That's all it took.  I had such a burn going on.  So, I turned off the trainer.  And I got off the bike.  Tomorrow I will do a less extreme workout since I'm going to need to build up some strength in my legs.  Well, just one specific area of one muscle group.  A lot of people don't realize that your muscles are broken down into subgroups; each quadriceps has 4 different sections.  Walking relies on one section more than any other, running uses multiple sections, and cycling?  Upper thighs mostly.  If you ever look at the legs of a cyclist you'll see they have teeny weeny calves and big thighs.  Now I have to train my upper thighs in order for them to roar like thunder when I ride.
And what about the Idiot Jerk in the White House and his pissing match with the Idiot Jerk in North Korea?  Am I the only one who sees them acting like petulant 12 year olds?  Don't worry, they'll start taunting each other's mothers any second now.  Of course, this is why the Idiot Jerk is... well, the Idiot Jerk.
Also, Melanoma gave some sort of speech.. yesterday, I think.  I don't remember exactly because I was blinded by that neon pink road crew dress she was wearing.  Do you know what I mean?  You do have to give her credit for trying to bring a stylish new wardrobe to Flagger Force.  Gee, they would no longer need to stop traffic with a sign, just stand their with their arms out.

For decades First Ladies set styles, created trends... until now.  All this one seems to be trying to do is  stop traffic.  To be perfectly honest, I think it's inflatable and the Idiot Jerk just pumped in too much hot air.

Thursday, September 21, 2017

No Dead cats in the Freezer

A long time ago, about 14 years to get you into the ballpark, my Dad died of lung cancer.  My sister, my brother and I urged my Mom to get a pet so she wouldn't be alone.  Three weeks after my Dad's memorial service, Kitty moved into my Mom's house.  Kitty came from the Humane Society, an adult female of unknown age.  My Mom lavished her with treats, and she got very, very fat.  When my Mom's health deteriorated and she moved into Greenfield, Kitty moved in with my nephew and his wife.  They put Kitty on a diet and she lost weight, she also went blind and had problems locating the liter box.  My brother asked for opinions and we all said we thought she should be put down.  Instead he moved her into an empty bedroom in his house.  He covered the floor with a large, blue tarp because she could only use the liter  box if you picked her up and put her in it, and she lived there for two years.  A few months ago he moved her down to his first floor where she had much more space to pee on the floor.  He tried to get rid of Kitty... and no one wanted an old, blind cat that peed and pooed on the floor.  Every one had the same response, put her down.  He didn't.
On Saturday, he and his wife, and two of his children, with their spouses, left for vacation in North Carolina.  Tuesday he sent me a text:  the neighbor taking care of Kitty called to tell him the cat was doing poorly, would I go over and check her out.  I did.  I texted him back that yes, Kitty was in bad shape.  And his response was "Can you take her to the Vet and have her put down."  My response was the he needed to call the Vet and make the arrangements.  He didn't like that.  He was on vacation.  He said I could call them and have them go to the house to put her down.  Me?  I texted him the Vet's phone number.  He didn't care for that, either.  So, I said that I thought we should, perhaps, let nature run it's course, and that I would stop over on Wednesday to check on the cat.  I told them that if the cat had died, I would wrap it up in a plastic bag and put it in their freezer until they got home.
Holy Shit!! NO DEAD CATS IN THE FREEZER!!  NO DEAD CATS IN THE FREEZER!!  This was a group text and his wife pretty much exploded.  All that bacteria!  All of those germs!!  NO DEAD CATS IN THE FREEZER!!  They couldn't believe I would even consider such a thing, so I told them:  My cat Max died when he was 21 years old.  He died while I was at work.  And it was January, the ground was frozen, so I wrapped him up in a towel, and put him in a garbage bag, which was wrapped up and tied securely, and put him in my freezer.  He had a shelf to himself.
I said something to my friend Patty, and it turns out she did the same thing: put her dead pet in the freezer until she could get the body to the Vet.
As it turned out, the neighbor who was taking care of Kitty went over Wednesday morning and the poor thing had died.  The neighbor's father took the cat out behind my brother's house and buried it.  My brother, who didn't want to deal with the fact that Kitty needed to be put down, and left her suffer, in the end, didn't have to deal with her demise either.  I sent him a text telling him he needed to bring something very, very nice back for his neighbor.

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

The fitting / edging Trump supporters

The bike fitting went well yesterday.  They use software that incorporates a Kinect and lasers to fine tune the most comfortable position for you on a bike.  You stand perfectly still for about 30 seconds while the lasers measure you:  height, leg length, arm length.  My shoulders are wide and that will effect how I sit on a bike.  My legs are short, but not as short as you would think when it comes to riding a bike.  They they start out with a simple piece of equipment and add a saddle (seat), handlebars, and pedals, and then you climb on-board and the fun starts.  While you are peddling they will move the seat up and down, forward and back, by millimeter increments (yes, it's metric).  The same thing happens with the handlebars.  And everything is angled, as well, so the front of the seat may go up or down in order to give you the best position.  As you pedal, they capture the distance your legs open.  My right leg opens wider than my left leg when I'm riding.  All of it was very interesting, and when they were done they sent me a PDF file which included the picture below, so this is actually a picture of a picture.

Notice my shapely legs, dainty ankles and all
And if anybody is wondering, I ordered the Cannondale Carbon Disc Ultegra, the red bike.
Oh, and I saw that the Idiot Jerk in the White House did speak at the UN yesterday... I even read some short excerpts, and believe me, they have to be short, otherwise the nausea overwhelms me and unless he's close enough to hit, well, that would be a waste of good puke.  Firstly, he evidently doesn't like 'rogue' nations and thinks they should be stopped, but not 'rogue' people since he had pizza with Sarah Palin  and didn't punch her out.  Secondly, from what I read, every single word was directed at his base, those supporters who voted for him.  You can bet they were all fervently listening and watching, as he edged them closer to ecstasy.  What a jerk.

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

The stuff of shadows

So, here it is... Tuesday, and my first day off after working 6 days.  Ain't it sweet?  Pretty much, so.  Around 10 I'm going to get measured for my new bike.  I did spend a bit of time on the trainer this AM since the hernia limits what I can do.  Cycling is okay. as long as I don't lean forward too much.  I can't wait until the damn thing is fixed.
Is the Idiot Jerk speaking at the UN today?  I think I read that somewhere.  Now that's embarrassing, especially since he and the rest of the GOP spent so much hate time criticizing it.  But then that's what they always do, attack what they can't control.
There was an interesting article in Bloomberg this AM about the Russkies and their hacking the election.  Sounds to me we should go back to paper ballots, that would show them, wouldn't it.  Counting ballots takes a lot longer, and politicians and political parties would loose that instant rush of gratification their winners get 5 seconds after the polls closed, but wouldn't that be better?  Let's be honest here, no matter what kind of safeguards our election software has, those damn Russkies are always going to try and hack it.  They're just like the GOP and the Evangelicals when it comes to control... and manipulation, and lies.
And I saw somewhere that Hillary is thinking of contesting the presidential election.  Not a good thing.  And evidently she and Bernie are having some sort of spitting match.  That too is not a good thing.  She needs to pull that stick of bitterness out of her ass and move to the sidelines.  Even though we all hate it, the Idiot Jerk won the electoral college.  Our number one priority right now must be to unite into one mighty group in order to move his shit stained ass out of the White House.  Both she and Bernie need to shut up.  They need to put on their wizened, sage robes and sit quietly giving advice when someone asks for it.  Their egos need to be taken off of the burner.  They need to put the country ahead of their own personal wants and desires.  They both lost.  They need to understand this.  America and the party must come first.  No matter how strongly they feel about certain subjects, they must both realize that now they are the stuff of shadows.

Monday, September 18, 2017


So, for the past couple of days our store has been having a new generator installed, something used only in case of emergencies.  Installation is being done by people who work specifically for the home office out of Atlanta.
Yesterday morning, I'm sitting at the Flooring desk with a fellow associate, and I see one of the installers walking down the aisle in his orange shirt emblazoned with 'Generator Crew' and I ask him how it's going.
And he says "Terrible, we hit a gas line.  I need to speak to a manager right away."  As I picked up the phone, he continued, "I called 911 and UGI and they're all on their way."  When the Manager answered, I handed off the phone and listened to the installer repeat himself - by this time you could smell natural gas as it began to ooze around the showroom.  If you've never smelled natural gas, it has a sickly sweet smell, the scent of poison since it can easily kill you.
A few seconds later all associates were told to evacuate the customers and themselves from the building.  Most people were very compliant you could smell the fumes in Electrical, and Paint.  The back aisle of the building was quickly turning into no man's land.
But then there were the assholes.  The morons like the guy who said, "well, can't you get that sink down out of the overhead since I don't want to come back later."  Or the woman who was standing by the paint wall, fanning her nose with a paint chip, as though that was going to keep the gas away.  Most customers understood the seriousness of the situation, got in their cars, and left.  But there were also the dawdlers who failed to understand that a stray spark could blow up the building, and they... moved... slowly.  Maybe they were just inherently stupid, I don't know.  There was a woman who became rather adamant that we ring her up, and her cart was rather full.  Of course, we shut her down and told her she needed to leave the building immediately.
In the end, UGI turned off the gas and we were all allowed back in the building - 2 hours later.  The man who wanted the sink, the woman with the paint chip, and the aggravated woman at the registers?  They never returned.  I don't think those people will ever understand that their inconvenience could very well have turned out to be fatal for them.  Imagine, dying because you can't decide on a paint color.

Sunday, September 17, 2017

Particularly about: Bikes, customers, and Trump

Today's Sunday and I get to work a split shift.  That means I go in at my standard 10:30, work 6 hours, go home, and then go back to work at 8 this evening.  Today is our Success Sharing meeting, where they hand out our bonuses for the previous 6 months.  Mine's going to be nice, not nearly what it used to be, but still, for an hourly associate, rather nice.  I'm going to use it to pay off my Amex because I'm going to add a toasty bit to that account when I purchase my new bike.  As for the particular Cannondale I'm going to buy?  Well, I've pretty much settled, in my head at least on the Synapse Carbon Disc Ultegra.

As you can see, it's red.  Red is very important.  There's a Synapse that costs about $600 less, and that's very nice, but it's blue.  I'm not a blue person.  My eyes might be blue, and I might wear shirts that have blue in them, and blue jeans, but that's about it.  My favorite colors are red and green, mostly red, the color of Mars, the god of War...  what can I say?  Maybe it's because I'm a Scorpio.
So, I had a particular customer yesterday.  I knew she was particular because she told me so.  "I'm very particular," she'd said, as she jostled the baby swaddled to her bosom.  She had another sitting in her shopping cart and right of the bat that she was showing her particularity by being as racially diverse when it came to having children.  When her mother pointed out to her that the carpet she particularly liked would cost over $7000 she sighed and said "but it's what I like."  Her parents need to get her off of her meds and into counseling as fast as possible if they don't want this particular person to have life that's totally screwed.  I mean, I can't even imagine her attempting to raise children.
And I saw this interesting opinion in Bloomberg this AM, on how the Idiot Jerk in the White House is on the verge of selling out his base.  And, of course, I had to laugh.  While the media was reporting on his treatment of contractors, how he reneged on contracts, and sought legal action when contractors fought back, his Trumplodite Bonga Wongas listened only to his Tweety words consistently trumpeting 'fake news.'  And now the Idiot Jerk says "the wall can wait."  The EU says he's shifting on his Paris Climate Control opinion.  Oh, and maybe immigrant children should be allowed to stay.  They are throwing up a crazy shit storm on John Kelly, Trump's Nanny, or at least that's what some are calling the White House Chief of Staff.  Of course, they didn't want to believe the truth.  They wanted to believe the Idiot Jerk, a turd of a human being who has only one true loyalty, and that's to himself.

Friday, September 15, 2017

From the first French Grand Prix

Today is Friday and it is the 3rd day of 6 days in a row.  I didn't sleep well last night, kept wondering if what I was feeling in my lower groin could be classified as pain, or just pressure.  Mostly, it's just pressure because everything being held back by my abdominal muscles is trying to push a way out through the bulge, which is in my lower groin, just about as far down as you can go.  This is what I can look forward to for at least 19 more days.  Shit.
Anyway, since I can't go to the gym and my Cardio is limited to gentle peddling on my bike, I've decided to do a little work in my dinning room.  This morning the drapes came down.

That's right, I have a lot of windows, and since I also have a southern exposure on that side of the house, lots and lots of sunlight all year round.  In the winter, with the leaves off of the trees, the brightness is almost unearthly.  At one point there was a window seat there, but at some time in my homes 112 year history someone thought it would be a good idea to get rid of it.  This is fine because it adds square footage to the dinning room.
First off, the raspberry trim is going to go, replaced by Toasted Sesame, the same color as the trim in the living room.  Oh, and the boarder along the ceiling is going to go.  In my crazier, younger years, I thought grapes and grape leaves would go well with the color of the trim... not so much now.  And that coat rack on the left?  That's going to be history.  I went through my coat closet and sent a lot of my jackets and coats to Community Aid so there's plenty of space.
To the right of the futon you'll see the curving top of an old, wooden hat box.  Think of it as an antique.  I don't know when it was made, but it was originally used by a woman who could afford to wear one of those large hats popular in the early 1900's.  There are several inked stamps on the lid, mostly in German, with dates.  One of the dates you can read is from the First French Grand Prix, which means this hatbox is most likely older than my house.
Isn't life amazing?

Thursday, September 14, 2017

"It," just might creep you out

I went to see "It," and I liked "It."  While being classified in the Horror genre, the film is actually more of a creepy, suspenseful thriller (emphasis on creepy) with elements of horror thrown in for good measure.  In the original draft some of the children, like Stan, had been replaced with composites.  Wisely, they are all present with all their idiosyncrasies, and their parents, in the final screenplay.  Their parents are very important.  They come off as insensitive, and creepy, and bad, and, in the end some are worse than "It."  This movie does more than flirt with pedophilia, and child abuse, and bullying, they are on full display.  Their parents are what make the 'losers' so strong.  Because of their parents, these children can look into the face of evil and say "I'm not afraid of you."
And "It" is  creepy scary, filled with scenes of family pictures on a slide projector, and chocolate Easter eggs, and gushing blood, and balloons, lots and lots of red balloons.  And clowns of course.  Clowns that eat children.

My surgery consultation isn't until 10/4 and until then I'm limited in what I can do... like just about nothing at all, except ride the bike on the trainer.  Everything else I do requires using my abs.   When I asked my Dr about cardio he said "walking is okay."  Walking?  That's about it.  So I'm kind of like saying "shit" all of the time.  Another thing is that I never knew hernias were that common... until I went to work yesterday and found myself surrounded by a sea of voices clamoring "I had one," "I had one," "I had one."  Cashier Judy said "I had a triple and when they were fixing it my lung collapsed."  Holy shit.  Anyway, I can't wait until it is fixed because right now I feel as though I'm turning into a load.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Fitting myself up with a new bike

So, I get to go back to work today.  Can you tell how excited I am?
My brother, who vacationing with all of his kids down in North Carolina texted me, asking when my surgery is going to be.  I told him that I didn't know.  They will call and give me a couple of dates, until them it's just a waiting game.  If anything happens before then, I'll go to the new Pinnacle Health West Shore Hospital, which is about 2 miles away.  That might actually suit me better since it's close to home.
Yesterday I went to the World Cup Ski and Cycling store in Camp Hill and made an appointment to get fitted for a new bike.  My old bike would be fine if my legs were about 2 inches longer, unfortunately, even though my legs are rather shapely, they're on the short side.  How short?  I have a 28.5 inch inseam.  Buying pants has always been a bitch.  This means both my torso and my arms are longer.
Anyway, I'm looking at getting another Cannondale, moderately priced, of course, which means I'm not going to spend $5000 on a bike.  However, this dealer also handles Pinarello bikes and let me tell you, they are nothing to slouch at.  Imported from Italy, they are a bit pricier, but I put them on the same level as Cervellos.  So, what I'm really hoping for is that my surgery doesn't happen, and nothing pops out, before next Tuesday.

This one

Or maybe?

This one

The Pinarello is about $300 more... but it is red.
However, that decision isn't going to be made for about 3 or 4 weeks, not until after the surgery and things are healing.  I mean, why would I buy a bicycle which I'm not going to be able to ride?
And I see where the Idiot Jerk is sending some sort of voter fraud commission to New Hampshire.  For years the GOP has been shrieking about voter fraud, and do you know why?  They are so full of themselves they just can't believe they are, in fact, the minority party.  This means that when they lose an election the only viable reason is voter fraud, fake votes.  These claims will continue until the party gets voted out of existence.  End of story.

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Life's little dramas

Well, the alarms are going off on my phone, my tablet, and my computer - my new furniture gets delivered today.  That's big news, right?
And I'm also supposed to go see "IT" this evening, and that big news, but not soooo big news.
I got the really big news yesterday afternoon, around 3:45 PM.
About 2 weeks ago, while I was doing crunches, I actually heard something sloshing in my intestines, and felt it as well, which is very odd.  There was no pain, just that disgustingly weird feeling and sound.  And then I developed a slight burning in my lower right groin and I thought... shit, could I be having appendicitis?  There was no nausea and it wasn't constant, so unlike every other man on the planet, I decided to get it checked out.  So, yesterday afternoon my doctor at the VA outpatient clinic, wearing a pair of bright blue gloves, did the groping thing and found... nothing.  When I told him I noticed the feeling when I was doing crunches, he had me lay back on the examining table and do a crunch.  Right off the bat he said "Oap, there it is."
So I questioned, "there what is?"
"You have a hernia," he said.  Evidently when I do crunches, the stuff inside bulges up against my abs making an obviously, visible lump where it's almost pushing through the muscle.  Notice, I said almost.  There's nothing actually oozing through... yet.  And, since that will end up being the eventuality, I'm going to have it fixed.
Just like in that old game "Operation," except nothing is coming out.  Evidently they inflate your skin and then put in some sort of mesh to keep things from popping out (now, wouldn't that be disgusting?)  I'll be off work for about 3 weeks.
My doctor said that they might offer me a choice, either the mesh inside or a truss outside.  A truss... now would that be attractive at the gym?
I can still do cardio, just no strength training, no crunches, and no lifting anything over 5 lbs.  When I told him I was doing 160 lb leg presses he said, "stop that now."  Shit.
Everybody is going like "Oh, my," and "Oh, no," and I'm like... "I'm going to check out a possible new bicycle this morning, before my furniture gets here."
I don't know why some people feel the need to create drama when something like this happens?

Monday, September 11, 2017

Eagles Won!

Well, I went to see the Eagles / Redskins play at FedEx Field yesterday and got a little sun.  I've never been to a professional football game before, so the experience was new.
Shortly after we pulled out cars into the parking area I realized I was in no way a 'tailgate' person.  Taking a half an hour to set up a 'camp site' so you can grill some sausages and burgers and drink a beer or two, or throw back a couple of 'oyster vodka shooters (Joe, my brother-in-law's contribution), seems a bit pointless.  In fact, tearing the set-up down took longer than setting up because you have to deal with garbage.
The walk to the stadium took about 10 minutes.

Joe, my brother-in-law in green, by brother's in the jersey
And, of course, once we were inside I had a picture taken with my brother with the entire stadium behind us.

What's funny is that I weigh 187 and he weighs 203 and I'm a half in taller... so I have no idea why it looks like I'm pregnant.  
The game, itself, was actually fun!  That's right, I had a good time.  I was surprised by the number of obvious gay men there.  They balanced out those loud mouthed Trump supporters who showed up with chubby wives - matching tattoos?  give me a break!  Or the pimp with his 'blue ho' (blue hair, blue lips, blue nails, and blue, velvet outfit).
There were 3 young men sitting to my right and they were a hoot!  At one point a Neil Diamond song was played, the one where he sings "touching you, touching me, touching you," and those 3 young men sang along and touched, and I almost fell out of my seat laughing.
If you're someone who watches football and TV and wonder what happens during the commercial breaks... well, nothing.  Everything stops.  The players stand there.  Sometimes people run towels out to the players so they can wipe the sweat from their brows.

A commercial break
So, would I go to another football game?  Sure, I had fun.  There were a couple of drunks, and slutty looking women, and rednecks, but there were also guys in their Daisy Dukes and tight T-shirts and bearded men who leaned against each other as they watched the game.  The whole thing was... surprising.
Oh, and the Eagles won!  My Dad was a big Eagles fan and while he was alive he went to 7 or 8 games... and they always lost.  Yesterday they won, so I figure that game was for my Dad.

Sunday, September 10, 2017

Eagles, Redskins, and Irma

Well, today's Sunday, 9/10 and that means I'm going to see the Washington Redskins play the Philadelphia Eagles.... it's the opening game of the season.  I've been told by a number of people this is supposed to be a really good game...  However, I'm not a football person.  My brother told me we'd get there around 10:30 AM and we'd 'tailgate' for a bit (long, low groan, like the ones Lurch used to make).  I was thinking of wearing one of my cycling caps, perhaps even the Castelli that's all sweat stained from my cardio... but the decided I will keep my head bare.  I'm beginning to get a bald spot on the top / back, the hair is thin, and it's supposed to be sunny today, so maybe I'll see if I can tan it up a little.
I saw where the Idiot Jerk tweeted some sort of nonsense about Irma that ended with "God Bless everyone."  So... he either thinks or believes Irma is a blessing?  Of course, if he's the Anti-Christ he may well see it as a good thing.  One thing I'm certain of, Orange Juice is going to get very expensive, good thing I drink grape.
Well, it's time for me to leave for 'the game.'  Pray for me.

Saturday, September 9, 2017

De Vos is on the side of The Accused.

So I see Betsy De Vos is going to try and eliminate as much of Title IX as possible.  That's right, she's taking the side of the accused, saying they are being prosecuted too hard, too often and tying up the courts.  She gave one example, in speech she gave to Conservative and Libertarian lawmakers.  For those of you who don't remember, this is the same Betsy De Vos who, shortly after Republicans approved her as Secretary of Education, who need to have additional security after her entrance to a school was blocked by a... protester.  She has no problem is the tax payers get billed in order to keep her from being yelled at in public.  She doesn't want to be a victim, yet she seems to care little about the victims of sexual assault on college campuses.  Too expensive, you know.  No doubt she believes that boys will be boys.
The new trainer works well.  I am having some issues with the App.  This morning I was in the middle of a session and the app kicked back to the main screen saving nothing.  The Fenix 3Hr saved the moment.  The trainer didn't shut off, just the app.  Weird.  if it happens again I be forced to send an email.

I am going back to work today.  Uuuhhh.  I so wish I didn't have to.  I suspect it's going to be a long, 8 hour day.

Friday, September 8, 2017

Woe is Me

My head has been invaded by a Rhinovirus!!  There was a time when I never got sick, now, however, as I get older, that no longer seems to be the case.  Where I went years without getting a cold, now it seems to happen once a year.  This is, I suppose, one of the penalties of growing older; the more years you have under your belt, the more likely it is you'll run into something new to your immune system.
Anyway, I have personal time on the books so I took the day off... and plan to get much accomplished.
Like put my new trainer to the test this afternoon.  I bought myself a new tablet, Asus, (remember when tablets used to be very expensive?) and downloaded the Kinetic App.  It's on my phone, too, but I wanted a bigger screen, which means I'll move all of my fitness apps there.
I also cancelled my subscription to Cycling TV.  NBC Sports has greatly expanded they cycling coverage so I watch my bicycle racing there, besides Cycling TV just got to expensive.  $80 a year compared to the $30 for NBC Sports Gold.
With all of those people evacuating Florida, I hope they remember to take their pets.  We always end up seeing dogs and cats being rescued.  Your animals are totally dependent on you and should be the first thing loaded into the car, truck, or van.  Don't leave them behind!
Oh, and did anybody see the pics of Donnie Jr after his first closed door session with that little committee down in Washington?  Talk about a 'woe is me' face.  This is what the Junior Idiot Jerk looks like after someone has wiped his shitty smile off of his face.

I wonder if he went home and cried in his pillow?  Or if he even understands that this is just the beginning... of the end.
And speaking of the Idiot Jerk, I've been reading how Republicans are sporting their own "woe is me' faces, feeling so... betrayed by his deal with the Democrats.  Holy Crap!  How stupid are these people?  Didn't they know who they were voting for?  Well, that's a pretty dumb question, they voted for him after all.

Thursday, September 7, 2017

Kinetic and Mar Lago

So, the new trainer arrived yesterday.  You have no idea how much joy filled my heart when I opened the flaps of the box and saw white packing foam.  Nothing was dumped in the box.  This was brand new.  And, of course, the dogs love getting presents, even when they're for me.  They're dogs, they don't know it's not for them.  All they see is a big, big box.  Mostly they sat silent and watched me unpack the box.

Assembling it was a different matter.  Big Seig wanted to watch close up and on more than one occasion I had to push his head back.  Lily just watched, until I put the bike on it, and the she barked at it.
And what about the Idiot Jerk suddenly jumping on board the Democratic budget wagon yesterday. As soon as I saw that little news flash I knew why, and then I saw Anne Marie had pretty much figured it out when she commented on another blog.  Mar Lago.  That's right.  The Idiot Jerk's beach front vacation wonderland looks like it's going to take a direct hit from Irma.

That surge is going to wash right over that little island.  It's going to smash down door, crash in windows, all the while the winds of what's predicted to be a hurricane downgraded to a 3, rip off roofs.  The Idiot Jerk wants to make sure there's enough Federal Money available for when he needs to rebuild.  The Republicans were no doubt going to tie up those funds with too many restrictions and he didn't want that, so he handed them a big turd,  I suspect this will lead to open hostilities between the two.

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

Here comes Irma

Well, today is Wednesday and I get to go back to work after a single day off.  I do really hate having my days off split, two in a row is just fine with me, however split days off is a lot better than working 8 days in a row.
My knew trainer arrives today.  That little green machine should be waiting for me on the porch when I get home this evening.  The credit for the bad one, the CycleOps, has already been issued to my Amex.  Amazon is very good.  The online retailer who shipped it to Amazon to sell?  They're blaming the whole thing on... you guessed it, Amazon.  For those who don't know, when something gets returned to Amazon, it does not go back on 'the shelf.'  Returns are shipped to separate facilities where determinations are made regarding possible resale as used merchandise.  Used merchandise sent to Amazon as 'new' but which is either defective or used will either be destroyed or sent back to the online retailer with a charge being put on that retailer's account.  How do I know this?  The husband of one of the guys I work with works at one of these facilities.
And how about Irma?   I feel sorry for those people down in Florida because FEMA is just about out of money.  If this hurricane goes up the center of Florida, as some are now predicting, the destruction will be catastrophic.  Florida is flat as a pancake.  The only good thing that might happen is that Ann Coulter has a home in Florida, right alone the Eastern Seaboard, and with a little luck... well, you know, that if it gets destroyed that Peroxide Blonde, White Supremacist Pin-up Girl is going to be demanding Aid from the Federal Government.

Maybe she ought to just suffer a little.
Finally, I saw where some member of the GOP are concerned that the Idiot Jerk's decision to shit on DACA might lose them Latino Voters....  Do they really think that losing those 37 people who voted for the Idiot Jerk is really going to matter?

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

"Joel Osteen is bad for Christianity"

That's a quote from my brother, a retired Methodist minister, an White Evangelical, and a Social Conservative.  He said that this morning at breakfast.  He also said JO was an embarrassment.  Notice, I used his initials?  They could also stand for Jerk Off.  Am I saying Joel is one?  No, that would be way too kind.  The fact that he is both 'bad' and an 'embarrassment' is symptomatic of much larger problems for people of his faith.  Their inability to recognize the evil of the Idiot Jerk in the White House is extremely problematic.  They don't understand he gives them what they want because they praise him with the adoration he craves.  Their blessings only feed the cancer.
And what about the crazy Texan Conservatives?  You know who I'm talking about, the ones who want to secede from the United States.  They're special, you know?  They don't need the United States of America... until Harvey hit.  Now they're singing about 'disaster relief.'  Now they're singing about needing help from the Federal Government.   I'm not talking about all Texans, a lot of them are very good people, they can't help they live in a state that is governed by selfish Conservatives.
I talk a lot about Karma and how the Universe fixes mistakes, and I've also said that the Idiot Jerk in the White House, and the Republican Party have stacked up a lot of bad Karma.  Karma might just smack both into oblivion.  Right now Karma is surrounding both in the form of North Korea, in the devastation of Harvey, in a debt ceiling that needs to be raised, and a budget that needs to be passed... and along comes Irma, who may smack the shit out of the Gulf Coast or the Eastern Seaboard.
I'm reminded of Mrs. Lovett's line from Sweeney Todd "Have all the demons of hell been sent to torment me?"

I suspect that's what Joel is thinking right now, totally incapable of knowing the "evil of his ways."  And the Idiot Jerk?  I wouldn't be surprised if he's ready to throw himself down on the ground, pounding his fists and kicking his feet like a wee child suffering apoplexy.  This is how the Universe works.

Monday, September 4, 2017

Going Big!

Well, that shitty CycleOps Fluid 2 that was sent to me instead of the trainer I had actually purchased is all boxed up and waiting for UPS to pick up tomorrow.  Even though it was not a CycleOps issue, the whole thing has pretty much soured me on the company and their trainers.  There are other trainers out there, some of which are rated as good, or better than CycleOps.  And me, being me, went looking... and ordering one, and probably because I was still feeling a bit perturbed, I went big and green.  Kinetic Green.

While I didn't order their green tire or the mat, I did order the Smart Trainer.  It rocks and rolls, as they say... literally.  The back wheel will literally angle to the left or the right as you pedal simulating actual pedaling on the road.  It has Bluetooth sensors built in to measure cadence and speed and energy output:  how many watts of energy you're burning as you pedal.  This is a lot more than I was thinking about and I thought about for... oh, 5 or 6 seconds before I decided to go big.
Here's a Labor Day update on those Baleaf jogging shorts I bought (2 pair).  The reviewer who claimed they revealed a lot was spot on the mark.  It doesn't make any difference if your jogging, using an elliptical, or even just walking.. in no time at all your compass is pointing true north.  These are not shorts for the shy.
And, of course, being Labor Day, I get to labor.  They're bringing food in for us, they always do on a holiday.  Some one said Subway, which tends to be high calorie, low nutrition fast food, made with processed faux turkey and ham, which make it not that healthy, in spite of what Jared said... remember Jared?  Their pedophile spokesperson?
The new trainer should arrive Wednesday, so pictures on Thursday.

Sunday, September 3, 2017

Online Failure

Okay, so it's Sunday.
Well, I'd ordered a new trainer for my bike on Friday, and I need to say that it was not bought through CycleOps but rather through a second vendor on Amazon.  Yesterday I received a text saying it had been delivered, and there was a big box on my porch when I got home.  Now I will admit that I was a bit excited and couldn't wait to unpack it.  The box itself looked like shipping had been anything but kind, but that didn't really matter, it's what's in the box that counts, sort of like people, you know?
Anyway, I cut open the sealing tape and began to pull out the contents.  The stand is similar to the stand for my Fluid trainer, only with a black satin finish and was in it's own packaging.  There were all sorts of goodies along with it... however, they seemed to have  been dumped in, when I'd gotten the Fluid trainer 6 or 7 years ago they'd had their own packaging.  Then I pulled out the box with the resistance unit... I don't know if anybody in the neighborhood heard me, but I started cursing up a blue streak.  You see, there was an old mailing label on the box that had the original addresses blackened out with a Sharpie.

This meant that the Jet Pro trainer they'd sent wasn't new, that it had been returned to the vendor by a previous customer who may or may not have used it.  Now, I work in retail and we get a lot of things returned that are in perfect condition.  Knowing this, I decided to see what shape the unit was in and opened the box.  And son of a bitch, didn't those morons send me the wrong, damn trainer!  They sent me a freaking Fluid 2!  Not a bad model, but definitely not the one I had paid good money for.  It was almost as bad as waking up back in November and discovering that the Idiot Jerk had won the election.  Shit!!  It's bad enough they sent me the wrong trainer, but it sucks shit that it also might have been used!  UPS is supposed to pick it up on Tuesday.
And thank you all for letting me piss and moan.

Saturday, September 2, 2017

Harvey arrives, Irma approaches

Well, it's Saturday and for many people out there it is the beginning of a 3 day weekend... but not for me, in fact I get to work for the next 3 days.  There are no holidays in Retail.  Well, sometimes, I do get off on Christmas Day and Thanksgiving, but those are the only 2, not that it really bothers me.
And, in case anyone is wondering, it's beginning to drizzle outside:  here comes Harvey to Central PA.
Oh, and the Idiot Jerk in the White House is going to be in Texas today... again, and this time he's going to talk to...residents.  This means a carefully scripted event where those chosen to make it on camera be sure to praise the Idiot Jerk.  Remember Hurricane Sandy, Obama and Christie walking, and talking to people?  My money says that ain't gonna happen.  It wouldn't surprise me if he doesn't spend a little time with the 'residents' and then get a round of golf in with Joel Osteen.
Interestingly enough, the Idiot Jerk's budget had cuts to FEMA, well, guess that ain't gonna happen.  I can only wonder what he's going to do if Irma develops in what forecasters are predicting, another whopper of a hurricane.  Speaking of FEMA, they're already telling those displaced by Harvey that it's going to be a 'long haul.'  Upwards of half a million people are expected to apply for disaster relief, and that is, in case the Idiot Jerk in the White House doesn't know, a lot of votes.

Friday, September 1, 2017

Cycling again!

Usually, I get my cardio on my Sole 95 elliptical - I get very good results.  However, I also like to ride my bike, the only problem being that my current CycleOps trainer is loud.  How loud is it?  My neighbor once told it sounded like I was driving a truck.  This also meant that I needed to have my music volume cranked even louder, not a good thing for you eardrums.  So, this AM I ordered a new trainer... from CycleOps, since I like their product lines:  CycleOps Jet Fluid Pro.

Delivery is scheduled for Sunday - and, of course, I'm working, which means I'll have to set it up when I get home.  My Fenix 3 HR has an 'indoor cycling app' so I'm set... hopefully.
I also got a phone call yesterday telling me that my furniture is going to be delivered on 9/12 - luckily I'm off that day.
And I saw that the Idiot Jerk in the White House now says he's going to donate $1 million to Harvey relief... which sounds nice, but don't read the fine print where you'll find that the monies may not actually come from him, rather, the check just might be drawn from his Foundation... Now, I know he has supporters who are going to whine about this being merely a technicality, but if the monies aren't coming from his personal funds, but from donations and contributions to his Foundation, is he really giving $1 million dollars?  Hell, no.  Of course that's not going to stop his supporters from merrily skipping down the sidewalk singing "he gives, he gives."
I have a nice table in my dining room that I'm thinking of taking a part and putting in storage.  I don't really use it.  In fact, I haven't really had a dinner party in almost 4 years.  The thought of having one makes me groan.  Do I really want to go through that "oh, shit" hassle?  I think not.  I just need to figure out where I'd put the silver candelabra.