I've also been told I have little tact, so if this offends you simply ride on.

Wednesday, November 20, 2019

Spin Dry

My weekend begins today!  And it is chock full of things to do... like laundry, though I've been attempting to do several loads during the week in order to open up free time on... my weekend.  I'd better enjoy this one since I've been scheduled to work 2 weeks with split days off.  After that, my weekends seem to have been moved back to Sundays and Mondays.  That's fine with me.  I just want my consecutive days off.
I some of you have been waiting with baited breath... so I'm pleased to announce that a decision has been reached in regard to my use of soaps.  Will it be Dr. Squatch... or Marlowe?  Dr. Squatch has really great commercials geared towards a niche audience.  Marlowe doesn't have commercials.  Dr. Squatch is square.  Marlowe isn't.  In spite of a bare chested man rubbing his fingers across his torso spitting accolades about the lather Dr. Squatch creates... there isn't any.  Marlowe has lather.  Dr. Squatch has a nice scent... but after a few minutes my sensitive nose picked up the underwhelming odor of lye....  Marlowe brags about "no cruelty," while Dr. Squatch only has a small mention on their website.  Can you see where this is heading?  While I like the commercials, Dr. Squatch comes across as just another trendy product.  Don't you hate being let down by something for which you had very high hopes? 

Yesterday was not a good day if you're an Idiot Jerk in the White House and hearings are underway regarding a possible impeachment.  Today might possibly be worse.  Son of a bitch!  In case you're wondering, this is why he went to Walter Reed.  His fatty, little heart is palpating horrendously at the thought of being humiliated by being fired.  He knows that without the loyalty of his base he is nothing more than a shit stain on a dirty pair of boxers, or panties, just waiting to be washed.  He dreads the approaching revelations of 'spin dry.'  This is Karma of a man who never learned.
Interestingly enough a large majority of Americans (approximately 71%) now say he did something wrong, something un-American in that phone call to the Ukraine.  Even more interesting, it seems that a majority of that 71% feel he should not be impeached, rather, they feel the American people should fire his ass, not the House of Representatives, and not Congress.  And states are already gearing up for the election of 2020.  Turn out is expected to be very high as Americans line up to vote.  We want to skip the wash and rinse cycles and jump right into the spin dry cycle.

Tuesday, November 19, 2019


Here in Central PA they're forecasting a drizzly day... wow.  I'm excited.  I work so the weather really doesn't bother me too much.  The next 2 days are supposed to be partially sunny with the temps in the mid 50's (F).  I'm off, so that will be nice. 
Thursday is my Uncle's mini-viewing / service.  I'm hoping to not spend more than an hour at the Funeral Parlor.  I've always found that rather morbid, sitting through a memorial service in front of an open casket.  Some people have this really odd belief they need to get one last look at their loved ones before internment...  even if they look about as real as either Ken or Barbie.  Sorry, but memories should be based on our younger years, before age begins to slowly take toll, before there are wrinkles, and grey hair, and bald spots.   I do that a lot at work, look at older people and wonder what they were like in their youth, when they could dance the night away.  Not that I have any problem with aging.  I'm going to blow through my senior years with as much excitement and energy as possible.  This is what life is supposed to be about, not worrying about your cholesterol, or blood pressure.
I just read through some interesting reports about stents and by-pass surgery and how they really don't do anything to extend your life.  They do make doctors and surgeons a lot of money though.  Oh... sorry for the bad news Bernie.
And I thought I'd model another pair of socks for you.  These are my Bigfoot socks.

Snazzy, huh?  I'll  be wearing these in about 10 hours on my evening ride.  And doesn't my leg look awfully fat?  It isn't.
And I saw the Idiot Jerk's administration has decided to go against International Law by giving a big 'thumbs up' to settlements by Israel.  This is once again something geared towards his minority Conservative base.  There's some sort of prophecy which states that the 2nd Coming will happen after all Jews have returned home.  That's never going to happen.  If you look at the emigration stats of Israel it's fairly obvious that while new kids are moving into their block, even more are moving out.  The Conservative religious grip is growing tenuous.  People don't want to raise their kids in a war zone, neither to they really like the mandatory military service.  Of course, you try telling that to the Crazy Christians in this country and their eyes just go blank.  Those words don't even register because they don't jive with their personal beliefs.

Monday, November 18, 2019


It's Thursday!!  Well, maybe not for you, but it is for me.  Tomorrow is my Friday!  Should I start my happy dance now?
My Uncle died on Saturday.  I haven't seen him in at least 5 years.  He was elderly.  Interestingly, neither of his children notified us, rather it was my cousin Robin who sent my brother and I texts.  She later sent us information regarding the service... without providing the day.  At least I didn't get it, my brother did. When I queried her on it, she explained she had been busy multi-tasking when she texted me and overlooked that crucial piece of information.  We were never really close to that side of the family so I guess that's an acceptable reason.
I asked my brother to send flower from he, my sister, and myself.  He still owes me money for his Elton John ticket.  I'm a nice guy... but not that nice.
Going through my archival pics, I found one of me from a Christmas Party I went to in 1999 - that's right this baby is 20 years old.  The vest was a forest green paisley.  My one flirtation with a pattern which never looked good on me.  I'm more of a flannel man.

As you can see, I could never really grow facial hair...  which has always been one of my biggest regrets.  
Oh, and the Idiot Jerk stopped by Walter Reed on Saturday to, supposedly, begin his annual physical... about three months early.  Purportedly they took blood...  for testing.  That seems like something his personal physician... or personal nurse... or even one of his trained lackeys might do at the White House.  Why fly him over to Walter Reed?  Of course, suspicion is rising since this is so out of the ordinary.  But then, we never know, maybe he blew out half of his rectum during one of his recent shit explosions over the impeachment inquiry.  It must be a terrible burden on him to realize over half the country wants to see him jailed for eternity.  

Sunday, November 17, 2019

Dine on this

It's Sunday and those Thanksgiving sales people have already started wondering into the department.  They always ask which carpets are going on sale, or which laminates, or luxury vinyl planks.  The answer is always the same  "NADA."
I had one customer yesterday who told me he had purchased flooring from us 2 years ago at some ridiculously low cost and wanted to know why we weren't doing those kinds of discounts anymore.  Well, he was wrong.  No deep discounts in flooring for Black Friday.  Had he actually purchased from us 2 years ago, I could have pulled up his order and proven him wrong.  I was nice,  I didn't.
There was another customer who had purchased vinyl planks last year and questioned the price increase.  He want to purchase more.  I just looked him in the eye and said "China."  His face hardened a bit.  That was something he didn't want to hear because the American Consumer, according to the Idiot Jerk in the White House, is going to face the brunt of his tariffs.  I could have told him that once these tariff wars are over prices are not going to be coming back down, but that would have been rubbing salt into his wound.  The truth is... they're not coming back down.
Anyway, I saw where Louisiana re-elected their Democratic Governor.  Another off cycle election and another loss for the shit bag in the White House.  Anne Marie said it best: "everything he touches dies."  His base is... I suspect, staying home, away from the polls.  They're not going to vote him out of office, they're just not going to vote for him.  They are withering on the vine, so to speak.
On a brighter note, I got my dinosaur socks.

In the lower corner, you can see one on my left foot.  Those are not eyes looking at you.  They're chewy chompers waiting to take a bite.

Saturday, November 16, 2019


Another Friday night and another concert.  Not Elton John.  My brother in law called about a week and a half ago.  He had bought tickets for he and my sister to see Grace Potter.  My sister decided she didn't want to go, so I was offered her ticket.  I said yes, of course, not because I knew who she was but... well, she was at the Forum which is a very nice venue in downtown Harrisburg.  She was very dynamic.  I had listened to a few of her songs to familiarize myself with her music.  She used to sing with a group called The Nocturnals, now she's solo.  I'd recommend giving her a listen if you get the chance.

Anyway, now I'm running a little behind. 
I've started approving and disapproving comments while at work.  I use my phone.  It makes it nice and simple.  They don't really want me using the store computer for personal use.  I should be using it to sell product.
And of course, during testimony yesterday the Idiot Jerk opened up with a volley of hate Tweets.  Evidently the GOP had been going to treat Marie Yovanavitch with at least of some the respect she deserves... and then the Idiot Jerk started throwing Twitter acid on her, at least that's how one media outlet phrased his attack.  He is such a dumb shit.  I wouldn't be surprised if there weren't a number of Evangelical leaders laying their hands on him as he launched yesterday's attack.  The think he was sent to give them what their craven hearts so desperately want.  And while his base might have started spinning in giddy little circles of delight, a majority of Americans said "what the fuck?"
Oh, and Roger Stone was found guilty on all 7 charges.  Prepare yourselves for not only a pardon, but a tiny fingered Tweet about how the Idiot Jerk can do whatever he wants because he was sent by... Pure Evil.  They have no idea how fast their time is ticking away.
Here's a vid from a Grace Potter concert in 2015.  The song is Timekeeper.  Her performance last night included a lot more percussion.  Oh, and better lighting.

Friday, November 15, 2019

The Ride

It's Monday!... well for me anyway.  Can you feel my excitement?
My deep fryer arrived yesterday.  I made spring rolls - tasty.  That's what I'm taking for lunch today.
The dog's Christmas presents also arrived yesterday.  That's the only thing I really like about the holiday.  Something I learned a long time ago: it doesn't matter what it looks like, as long as it squeaks it's the best toy in the world.  Balls are good, too.  Lily loves running around with a lime green tennis ball in her mouth. They each get three.
So, I went for a 12.5 mile ride yesterday and set up my Gopro so you can see what I see.  When I try and explain it to people they say "yeah, okay," but I know they don't realize what I see.  This little ride is in Warm Springs Oregon.  If you enlarge you can see the boxes clearly.  The bottom one on the right is my route, the top one on the right show energy and cadence.  On the left, the bottom box shows my speed, how fast I'm pedaling.  The box at the top show's how far I've traveled and how many miles are left in the route.  The bar across the bottom shows me elevation, the darker the orange and red, the steeper the hill.  The sound you hear is the chain going over the sprockets. Also, I recorded this at the beginning of the ride before I hit the 11% grade hill - didn't think you wanted to hear me panting.

And the Idiot Jerk has gone to the Supreme Court because he doesn't want to release his tax information.  He's stacked it with Conservatives so he's hoping he can keep his crookedness secret.  There's a very good possibility they're going to tell him that this is not something you take to the Supreme Court.  Let's be honest here.  There must be something truly horrible about his tax returns for him to go to such lengths.  That's to be expected.  What a foot.  He thought getting himself elected was going to be an easy peasy ride, you know?  He'd do what ever he wanted.  Make himself a tinfoil dictator.
Oh, and by the way, I saw in Reuters when John Deere is beginning to lay off workers in the mid-west.  Tariffs are to blame.

Thursday, November 14, 2019

The Petulant Whiner

It's Thursday, or, since I'm retail, today's my Sunday.  Starting tomorrow I get to work 5 days in a row before I get another 2 consecutive days off.  After that?  Son of a bitch.  Consecutive days are off the schedule for at least 2 weeks.  I hate that.  I have the joy of working 6 days straight, and then my day off is Thanksgiving.  I mean, I shouldn't piss and moan, with holiday pay I'll get paid for 48 hours that week.   Still....
My apologies for posting responses to comments in such a scatter-shot fashion.  You'd think I was taking shooting lessons from Jim Jordan trying desperately to hit at least a part of the target.  That's not quite right.  My comments are posted regularly.  His comments yesterday at the first public impeachment hearing were... well.  You can tell the Idiot Jerk in the White House has left them very little to work with as far as a defense.  Since he had nothing of importance to defend, Jordan used a phony Mr. Rogers voice and ended up coming across as a condescending, petulant whiner about not hearing from the whistle-blower.  This is funny because it was the Republicans themselves who put those rules protecting whistle-blowers into effect.  This is their Karma, to constantly shit in their pants.
As I said yesterday, I was going to set up a little spread sheet for my Rouvy rides.  Here it is:

This is page one.  The distance is in miles not kilometers.  As you can see, the type signifies if it's a flat ride or a hill, I didn't include the difficulty rating, most being 2's or 3's with the Cote de Holm Moss ride having a difficulty rating of 4.  There's also a date column since I try not to repeat rides too often.
Finally, I guess the impeachment hearings continue tomorrow.  Yippee!