Bluntness

I've also been told I have little tact, so if this offends you simply ride on.

Friday, June 7, 2019

All about my snake... and other things.

Well, I get to go back to work today... for today and tomorrow, then I'm off for 2 more days.  A permanent schedule like this would be wonderful...
Anyway, I'm going to spend a few moments here bragging about my snake.  Now, I don't want anybody getting jealous, but my snake is big... real long, probably longer than most of imagine.  Oh, and he's black, of course I don't really know if I have the gender right since I didn't roll him over to see if he has a little snakey penis.  So, you ask, how long is my snake?  Well, I'd say he's easily over 5 feet long with about a 2 inch diameter.  He's very quiet, in fact I was quite surprised to find out he was living here.  Yesterday morning was the first time I actually saw him.  I looked out the back door window and there he was, casually snaking his way across the sidewalk.  That's how I know how big he is, the sidewalk is 4 feet wide at that point.  Now I know why my chipmunk population has been on the decline.  A friend asked me what I was going to do about him and I said "nothing."  Hopefully he will take care of my mouse problem and mousetraps will be unnecessary this fall.


The picture above is stock since I had neither my phone nor my camera with me.  The truth is I may never see him again.  Black snakes are nocturnal.  They hunt at night.  In case you're wondering, the dogs didn't see him.  I kept them in the house.  They would have killed the poor thing.
We're a year and a half from the 2020 election and polls are revealing things that are not too surprising, in other words this is what most Americans suspected.  Evidently only 38% of female voters are planning on voting for the Idiot Jerk, that's your Crazy Christian crowd and your Crazy Conservative crowd, and a small percentage of non-thinkers.  In case you didn't know, women are one of the largest voting blocks in the United States and everything the Idiot Jerk does to please his Crazy Christian base goes against the grain of 62% of that voting block.  This man is dumb as a brick.  He relies on Crazy Christian sycophants who tell him he was chosen by God to give them what they want.  They are depraved.  I can only wonder what they're going to do when he gets voted out of office. 

12 comments:

  1. I love snakes! Aren't all penises snakey (not that you've seen all penises)? Hmm, maybe I'm thinking snacky.

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    1. Just be careful, some snacky things bite!

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  2. Oh.......I heard all about your anaconda.....its legendary in PA.

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  3. "Chosen by God" - I do believe he thinks he IS god. And snakes. No thanks. I remember putting my baby to sit on the grass at home in Pittsburgh while I sat near him reading a book. Babe couldn't walk but could sit up and a bloody snake slithered right across his legs! Never did that again.

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    1. They don't really bother me, though I hve to admit, I wasn't expecting to see one right outside my back door.

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  4. I'd like to show the picture to Carlos but then I'd have to peel him off the ceiling .... again.

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    1. You don't have to show him the picture, just stretch your arms out wide and say "it's thiiiiiisss big"

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  5. Nicki Minaj has a song about your snake, Dave.
    And the xtianists will vote for Cheeto no matter what. They’re an intrinsically amoral bunch.

    XoXo

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    1. Does she really, she hasn't been hanging around my back yard, has she?

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  6. xstains are fulla stoopid! lovely snake you have; does it bring all the boyz to your yard?

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    1. sometimes it gives them the vapors... I'm talking about my snake, you know?

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