I've also been told I have little tact, so if this offends you simply ride on.

Monday, September 12, 2016

Wallpaper hell & pneumonia vs brain tumor

One of the things I learned while managing the paint department was that the vast majority of people out there believe wallpaper is crap.  Seriously.  Sure, you may like the way it hangs on your walls, but remember if you ever think of selling your home might be a game breaker.  Wallpaper sets decorating the room to a specific color palette.  A week didn't pass that we didn't have some new home owner coming in and complaining about needing to remove wallpaper, or some home owner wanting sell being told by their real estate agent that the wallpaper needs to go.  You see, wallpaper is a bitch to take down.  I know this for a fact.  Sixteen years ago I repainted my house and put up wallpaper boarders in 4 of the rooms.  I'm now in the process of repainting and those boarders need to come. Shit!  I'm up on a ladder, scoring the paper, and then up on a ladder with a steamer and plastic scrapper.  Once the boarder is gone I'll be up on the ladder with a sanding block smoothing out any rough spots, and then I'll be up again with an oil  based primer.  Oil based primer?  Yepper.  You see wallpaper paste soaks into the plaster or drywall and needs to be sealed with an oil or shellac based primer because latex paint can activate the glue and you end up with wrinkles, and rivels and rumples of what looks like orange peel.  Shit.

My hell is not this bad

And I saw that Hillary has been diagnosed with pneumonia, the walking kind.  We've all known someone with walking pneumonia.  Besides, it's much less serious than Donald Trump's brain tumor... wait, you mean he doesn't have a brain tumor?  Those are his normal behavior patterns? Well then maybe he's schizophrenic, one side saying "flip" and the other side saying "flop."  Anyway, I suspect the only voters who are going to let Hillary's walking pneumonia change their vote were most likely looking for an excuse all along.  They were never really going to vote for her. You know?  Like "holy crap, I was going to vote for her, but now she sick, like with walking pneumonia, and she might get sicker, and she didn't post a headline about being sick so what other health problems is she hiding?  Which means I'm going to have to vote Trump and his brain tumor."  Oh, wait, that's right, he doesn't have a brain tumor.


  1. I've taken down more than my fair share of wallpapers in homes we've owned and I have yet to put wallpaper up.
    Not gonna happen!

  2. While I've never actually seen it, I've been told that removing wallpaper is enough to make grown men cry.