I've also been told I have little tact, so if this offends you simply ride on.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Filling the Gorge!

So your doctor has given you the thumbs up to exercise, does that mean you should run out and buy a weight set?  No.  The first thing I recommend is to examine your diet.  If all the crap you shove down your throat adds up to more then 3000 calories a day you are wasting your fricking time. Calories in?  If you can’t cut back on this shit, you are wasting your fricking time.

This is a prime time dinner for a porko deluxe!

Yepper.  Oh sure you can count your carbs if you like but in the end it's the k calories that count.  K calories are an indicator of energy usage.  For you pinheads out there, let me give you a little explanation.  Everything in the universe uses some form of energy.  The human body burns calories to generate heat which is one of the little things that keeps us alive.  Burning calories gives us the energy to run up a flight of stairs, or ride a bike or stroll down the mall (you even burn a very small amount when you think about the things you want to buy at the mall).  You got to be a porko because you shoved more calories down your throat then you needed.  If you're a grando deluxe porko (more then 40 pounds overweight) you were probably shoving it down your gorge. There are fancy diets out there which tell you calories really are not that important, that you should really be counting carbs.  I know one individual who actually lost weight on one of those diets, of course he started going to the gym and running after work.  Did he lose the weight because of the diet or did the cardio play a very large part of it?  My money is on the cardio.

Here is a true story of too many calories in: about four months ago I was walking past the Health Care aisle at my local Giant supermarket when a large woman driving one of the store owned carts became stuck turning the corner.

You know, one like this

She began crying "I can't take this anymore," and I felt bad for her until I looked into her shopping basket.  There wasn't a single healthy food in it, there were however 2 family sized packages of Oreos, a bag off Doritos, a box off Cheese-its and a big bag of Pennsylvania Dutch noodles.  Cynical person that I am, the first thought to fly through my head was "Hey, fat pig, if you didn't eat all of that damn garbage you probably wouldn't be so damn fat, and if you weren't so fat you would be able to walk instead drive around in that stupid cart!" Believe me, she was way beyond your Grando Porko Deluxe!

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