Bluntness

I've also been told I have little tact, so if this offends you simply ride on.

Sunday, February 24, 2019

Unplug this

Finally, today is Sunday, the first of my 3 days off in a row.  It took long enough to get here, didn't it?  After that, unfortunately, I have to work 5 days before I get another day off, and it's only one.  Split days off - I hate them.
That nice blue coffee maker I bought?  There's something wrong with the programming.  How do I know?  Well, it turns itself on.  That means it's either a programming issue or it's possessed.  I'm going to go with the programming issue.  The problems is that there are only 2 buttons on the front.  The red one indicates the coffee maker is brewing.  The other, a light green color, does everything else:  sets the time on the clock, sets AM / PM, and lets you set a timer to start brewing.  Holding it in for 3 seconds supposedly lets you set the clock.  Example:  green button 3 seconds & you can set AM / PM; green button 3 seconds & you can set minutes by pressing... the green button, once you have minutes set, press and hold the green button for 3 seconds - that lets you set the hours by... pressing the green button.  Pressing the green button too long will set the timer.  However, if the power goes off, or the coffeemaker gets unplugged, the clock will reset to a random time and the timer does pretty much the same thing.  Here in Enola we sometimes get very brief power outages; the lights don't even flicker, I know because I'll find the bedroom clock flashing, and, of course, that will screw up the coffee maker.  My answer?  Just keep the damn thing unplugged so I don't wake up, or come home to find the warmer hot, with an empty carafe sitting on it.
And, what about the owner of the New England Patriots hitting whore houses? 

Yeah, this Krafty old sucker

Holy Shit!  And we're not even talking about a high class establishment here.  Shit, doesn't he know there's such a thing as a 'call girl?'  He's a good friend of the Idiot Jerk  in the White House.  I wonder if they swap whore house stories?  Oh, wait, it's not a whore house.  It's a 'massage parlor.'  And it looks like it's in a strip mall (no pun intended)


Don't picture it!  Clear your brain completely!  Let it go blank!  Otherwise you'll begin to wonder how often he was having his green button pushed...  I'm betting he rarely needed to be 'unplugged.'

9 comments:

  1. we get strange power outages both at home and at work; no explanation. I would keep that possessed pot unplugged too.

    is it wrong of me to want the dump caught up in that whore scandal with kraft?

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    1. You know they raided that brothel... and the police have their computers... and ...I wonder how many in the billionaire's club are shitting bricks.

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  2. He got a SuperBowl ring, and now he's got a prostitution ring.

    That's not my joke, I stole it from Twitter.

    Lastly, I'm going with possessed on the coffee maker, and it's causing the mini power outages to keep you in the dark.

    See what I did there?

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    1. That's so cute.😃😄

      And Kraft is such an asshole, he's probably bragging about it.

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  3. Wow, a masturbating coffee maker and a whoring old rich white guy. You've sunk really low this time, sugar! I like it!

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    Replies
    1. That made me laugh, of course, you know it's true, I do aim for the bottom every time.

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  4. The coffee maker Poltergeisting on you is a hoot!
    Oh the crusty dirty old rich white man who’s paying his part for human trafficking is way too good. I hope there’s at least six repugs that go down with him.

    XoXo

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    Replies
    1. I like to get it ready the night before so all I need to do is press the red button before I let the dogs out. One morning, around 3 AM, I wake up and think... hhhmm, smells like freshly brewed coffee.... surprise.

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    2. LoL bet it was great and disconcerting at the same time! 😄

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