I've also been told I have little tact, so if this offends you simply ride on.

Saturday, August 11, 2018

New Toy in Town

People, you are going to need to contain yourselves because... there's a new toy in town.  This little baby was sitting on my front porch when I got home from work yesterday.  Christmas Colors!  And this is actually 2 toys in one!  I can either 'husk' or 'shuck.'  Does anybody which is more fun?  Husking?  or Shucking?  I'm going to need to build myself a box.  You see, the toy clamps to the box (clamps are included, by the way).  The round hole at the top is expandable - that's right, this baby will take any size nut or cob.  Oh, and it comes with a nice crank, too.  You use the crank to turn the wheel as you shove in your nuts... or cobs.  So, is everyone as excited as I am?

And what about that crazy Turkey biz?  The stock market is not happy.  Crazy Christians are, though.  I guess the Turks arrested one, he was on some sort of crazy Christian mission, no doubt.  They said he's a spy.  That has the Crazy Christians in this country pissing sideways.  Because they lubed his slide into the Oval Office, the Idiot Jerk is giving them what they want.  He's going to crash the Turkish economy.  Not that the Crazy Christians in this country care about the Turkish people.  Nope.  You see the Turks are either Muslim, or the 'wrong kind of Christian.'  That means they have no value as human beings.  This is the kind of shit that starts really big, bad wars and they don't care because... well, they're crazy.  Shit, they're worse than fucking zombies.
Anyway, in case you are wondering, I do have wood.  I just have to figure out how to make it into a box.


  1. "You use the crank to turn the wheel as you shove in your nuts" - OUCH!

    "Anyway, in case you are wondering, I do have wood" - morning wood is good wood. as is afternoon wood and evening wood and late night wood...

  2. That things look like it hurts.
    Just sayin'.
    My mind went "there".

  3. Replies
    1. Well of course not, it's not made for hazelnuts