I've also been told I have little tact, so if this offends you simply ride on.

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Of paint and plastic people

Yesterday was not a banner day for paint sales, not bad, but not great; by 4 PM we were just selling random gallons to random customers.  This doesn't mean we were without incident.  A little after 6 a couple came to the desk.  They had an old can and wanted another one, no problem.  She, however, had a picture of a color she wanted on her phone.  That we can't do.  Of course, she was not happy.  "Other places can scan the phone," she said, pouting her augmented lips.  Oh, yes, she'd had injections, and it was obvious.  I was going to explain to her how you can not scan a phone because the reflection from the screen eliminates the refraction needed to identify colors, but before I could she rolled her eyes and said, heaving her overly large bosoms, "well, I guess I'm not going to be able to finish my project today."  As she sniffed, I noticed that she'd had her nose whittled down until it looked like a tiny, round button.  I apologized and explained in simple terms the problems with cell phone pictures and, once again, the bosoms heaved.  If I was supposed to feel sorry, I didn't... well, in a way, I mean I did feel sorry she had felt it necessary to spend all that money trying to look like Barbie.

When she and her male companion had finally left the desk, one of my female associates turned to me and said, "can you believe how big those fake boobs were?  They were about as attractive as water balloons with cigar butt nipples," (she doesn't mince her words, does she?).  And, of course, I had to agree.  Plastic people, you know?  They will keep working on it until they get it right, unfortunately for them, they don't understand they will never get it right.


  1. I see some of those people with their skin stretched so tight that I'm afraid it'll snap like a rubberband, killing those around them.

  2. Would that be considered domestic terrorism?

  3. just like michael jackson, the krapdashians/jenners, etc. all plastic, no brains/common sense.

    1. What's that line from The Graduate? "Plastics, the future is in plastics."