I've also been told I have little tact, so if this offends you simply ride on.

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

On Apple Heads and Starbucks

In my store, the paint desk is located directly across from the registers at the Front End and, as such, we tend to talk back and forth with each other when things are slow.  Yesterday, while I was waiting for a gallon of paint to finish mixing, Jesse, the Front End Supervisor, came over and said, "Hey, did you hear about my Starbucks?"  Now, she loves her Starbucks iced coffees; drinks at least one a day.  "Nah," I said, shaking my head.
"Well," she started explaining, "I stopped off this morning and picked up my usual coffee and lemon sesame roll (it was lemon sesame something or other, it may not have been a roll)."  Anyway, she'd started her work day by pulling up her figures on the computer back in the training room, something we all do, while eating her roll (?).  She then came front and, after setting her coffee down near self-checkout, grabbed the schedule and proceeded from register to register (12 altogether) making sure everybody had enough change and verifying breaks and lunches.  This took her about a half hour.  Returning to self-checkout, she discovered her empty Starbucks cup in the trash.  In a fairly loud voice she asked "Does anybody know what happened to my Starbucks?"
Evidently there was a long, quiet pause so she repeated the question and finally, Phyllis, a 71 year old cashier, who bears a marked resemblance to one of those apple head dolls, asked  "Starbucks?" as she walked from her register to self-checkout.  "Was that yours?  I thought a customer had left that behind and, since I was thirsty, I drank it."

A close resemblance to Phyllis
That's right, she thought a stranger had left behind a half empty Starbucks coffee and because she was thirsty she drank it.  A stranger's coffee.  Just think about that for a minute or two.  Let the images whirl around in your head as you imagine a stranger's coffee swirling down your own throat.
Okay, that's enough thinking.
Anyway, Phyllis said "they're expensive, aren't they?" before giving the whole incident a minor shrug and without offering to pay for the coffee, headed back to her register.  A lesson was learned by many.  And, since I don't drink Starbucks, I don't have to worry about thirsty Phyllis.


  1. Replies
    1. Phyllis is, for lack of a better word, a character.

  2. You left out the best part: what was Jesse's response to Phyllis finding out she drank her coffee?

    1. She was more dumbfounded than anything else.

  3. ew! NEVER touch another person's drink!

    1. On her behalf, I will say that she was smart enough to throw the straw away and drink from the side of the cup.