I've also been told I have little tact, so if this offends you simply ride on.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Glidden bamboozle

Of course some wouldn't call it a bamboozle, and many would no doubt interpret the action as pure deception on the part of a customer.  The customer did deceive us by trickery which pretty much the definition of bamboozle.  This person did think he was smarter then the associates who work at the paint desk, however he failed to understand that people who work with paint daily tend to know their paint.  It's not as though we were actually bamboozled because as soon as I heard his complaint I said "that guy's full of shit."  Of course the incident happened long before my shift started so I was unable to grab him by his lapels and shake the crap out of him, all the while asking him did he think we were really that stupid?

What happened?  A customer came into the Returns desk shrieking about how the 5 gallon bucket of Glidden paint was the worst he'd ever bought.  And evidently he did shriek as he demanded to speak to a manager.  He shrieked "this paint doesn't even stay on my walls, it runs down them! It's terrible!  Terrible!" at least this is how the scene was described to me.

Exhibit A, found at the scene of the crime

Anyway, when I got to work and heard about the complaint, I brought the bucket of paint to the desk for a thorough examination.  After putting it in the paint shaker for 3 minutes, I unscrewed the cap and shoved a wooden paint stirrer deep into the full bucket.  When I pulled out the stirrer the paint ran off, there was no adherence what so ever.  So I touched the paint and rolled it around between my fingers (paint people do that) and it felt funny.  Lifting the stirrer up to my nose I smelled it (we all know paint has a bit of a scent), except this didn't smell like paint.  Finally, I dabbed a bit onto the lid, next to the sample dot the associate had put there when the paint had been mixed.  Of course I knew they weren't going to match. You see I'd already figured out the customer had actually returned about 1.5 gallons of paint and about 3.5 gallons of water.  In fact, there was just enough of the original paint in the bucket to give it the correct color, no more, no less.

Sadly enough, in addition to giving the shrieking customer a refund, they also gave him 3 additional gallons of free paint.  One can only wonder if he truly though he was outsmarting us.  Then again maybe he didn't care.  Maybe all he needed the lie to work for a small period of time, just long enough for him to bamboozle us.


  1. What's sad is he probably got some sort of satisfaction out of doing it.